Pushing myself to move on faster

To: Windy Knees

From: My Light Self

Message:

I know I told myself that I’d take as much time as my heart requires to process all my feelings after my last breakup, and I believe I did for awhile… But, I let my anxiety about my age and my goal to have a family unconsciously affect me… I chose to focus on so many negative things while I told myself I’ve moved on…but, in reality I was just repressing things… I chose to ignore, bury, or run from some difficult feelings, some of which I’ve had for most of my life...only brought to the surface by the sad end of my most recent relationship

Really, it’s a blessing in disguise… I’ve been through so much in life that more now than ever I have the tools to unpack my baggage, and the maturity to accept my past, accept myself, and accept my current situation as is…to own it all and know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of… Everyone chooses a different starting point in life… Everyone chooses what they want to learn in their lifetime… Everyone takes however long they take to learn… Everyone has different learning outcomes… I think I have chosen some difficult paths in life because that’s where the soul really gets to grow…

If I’m honest with myself, I do look back at my life so far and I am proud of the things I’ve overcome so far… I will do better to remind myself of that should I feel worthless again

To me: I’m sorry for unconsciously pushing myself to move on after my last relationship due to fear of my clock running out… Remember that speeding ticket, there’s no rushing the Universe… Be absent of fear and do what I have to do in life

Namaste